Hopeful and supportive friends!

So since I have started this blog I have had many comments as well as messages from people supporting me and helping me, as well as a few of other people’s stories. A couple of weeks ago I received a message from one of my friends. With her permission I am going to share it here. The messages have been edited for content (<- I never thought I would use that phrase in my life J )

Note: The messages my friend sent me are highlighted yellow, my responses to her are in pink.

Hey girl! I just stumbled on your blog! We seem to have some things from our past in common… I have almost 8 years clean. I did it out necessity I guess. One Day I just couldn't take feeling so numb. I quit and 2 months later was pg. Haven;t touched it since. Not that I still do not think about it though. I sat and read every blog of yours… I want you to know that you have gotten me thinking about some of the things in my life. I have been on rx pills for years now for fibro. BUt I know I don't take them exactly like am supposed to. Esp one of thm. If I take all of them at one instead broken up into 3 times It gives me a lot of energy. (hmmm wonder why I strive for energy?) I have asked my dr to take me off of them, but then feel so scared that he will actually do it. I can't exactly remember which blog it was, but one of yours was like yelling in my ears. So I thank you!~

…I had no idea! Thank you so much for sharing! 8 years gives me hope!...One thing that I have learned (and I struggle with everyday) is that as addicts we like to sub one drug for another and we think it is ok because its not our "drug of choice" or it is "legal". I have a hard time with that!!! Something I need to do better at! Like smoking, shopping, and others. But rx are hard you need them but they can be addictive. And we know that we need to give something up but then it scares us when we think that it could be gone for good, what would happen to us then. I have had that feeling many of times. I really do appriecate you sharing. You give me hope thank you!..

No one did or does really. I started it 2004 2 months later we moved to ls and within 3 months were running ALOT! We were sooo darn stupid. The main guy in our ring got popped and he bonded out. 2 night later we were back at his house. My cousin just got put in jail for it for the secon time and I catch myself all the time thinking, " gosh she is soo stupid" . But the only differenece is she got caught and I didn't. But I really don't tell anyone.. Even when we were 2 weeks up we still ran around thinking we were better than anyone because we were functioning tweakers. I really can only thank God that I quit. It took him another month or two. BUt we both think about it. Yet neither of us have touched it…

I understand the thinking you are better then other tweakers I was the same way. I even thought I was a better parent then the other ones because I still had my child! Man was I stupid too! I put Kelli in a lot of bad situations! I still have a lot of guilt and shame over this whole deal. But I can't think about all that I have to look to the future. I am glad that you guys got sober together that is hard to do but you guys gave a beautiful family now!...

And then a couple of days ago I received this message from my friend:

I wanted to tell you that I have been free from ultram (That pain med I was abusing) for 3 days. I really think God had a huge hand in helping because one time I took so much my dr wouldn't refil them and I had the most horrible withdrawls. I mean from what I hear, herion like withdrawls. That night i took a tootal of 10 muscle relaxers, but couldn't sleep still. I was sitting in my bed indian style rocking back and forth crying. Iwas soo scared, but I did it and the only withdrawls so far have been fatigue. I was going to wait until after my daughter's party (they gave me incredible energy, when I took 4-6 instead of 2). But I looked at them and thought of everything you said and tossed them down the toilet! After a mini panic attack, I was ok with it! LOL So thank you so so so much!..

I just want to say that I am so very proud of her! She realized that she had an issue with some thing and have taken the steps to help herself! My heart is so overwhelmed with happiness for her and her family. I am actually going to see her tonight so that I can give her a couple of books! I really can not wait to see her and give her a hug.

         You know friends are a great support system. But when we are trying to support people that have a problem we can not force them. I again was reading my daily devotionals this morning and came across a great one for anyone out there that has friends or family members going  though addiction or anything else for that matter.

Believing In Myself

August 18

Whatever needs to be maintained through force is doomed.

Henry Miller

When someone we love is in trouble, we may try to control or at least curb the trouble-causing behavior. With the sincerest wish for their welfare, we throw out their liquor or hide the doughnuts when we see them coming. Our justification is that “we’re only trying to help,” and well might that be. But we enter a gray area when we try to manipulate reality on someone else’s behalf.

Of course, we care about our loved ones and fell genuine concern when we see them heading for a fall. But caring and caretaking arent the same thing. For out own emtional well-being, “hands-off” other adults’ lives is usually the best policy.

More often than not people are doing what they choose to do. We can influence, but they choose. Better than rearranging the environment, we can offer loving advice and then let the subject drop. Our loved ones will do what they want to do anyway. If their unwise choices finally bring them down, we can be there for them. At least we wont have ruined the relationship by nagging and manipulation.

The calisthenics for self-esteem do not include manipulation.

I hope that everyone is having a great Thursday and has had a great week!