Monday, August 15, 2011

Rabah-The Prostitute

FYI: This blog is going to be a little religious/spiritually, just to let you know! :)

So after writing my post last night I finally went to sleep. I woke up this morning and it felt good to do so to a clean, organized, finished house. I sat and drank coffee and read my daily devotionals, I read 4 different ones every morning, but one of them just kind of hit me this morning:

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August 15
Faith 2

It was by faith that Rahab the prostitute did not die with all the others in her city who refused to obey God. For she had given a friendly welcome to the spies.
Hebrews 11:31

Raising three boys who are becoming handsome young men brings with it the responsibility of building into their lives a godly desire for purity. Many years ago one of my very young sons announced that he wanted to marry me and live in our house when he grew up. Although I felt flattered, I knew that someday he would begin to notice pretty young woman from other families. He has! Through the years, we’ve encouraged our sons to choose girls who value purity and avoid girls who behave seductively.
Why, then, do we find Rahab-a prostitute-praised in Hebrews for her faith? What is she doing on the list of heroes?
When Joshua was commanded to conquer the Promised Land (Joshua 6), the first city on the list was Jericho. It had walls at least twenty-five feet high and twenty feet wide! When Joshua sent two spies to Jericho, they found safety and lodging at Rahab’s home right on the walls. Rahab was so convinced that the God of Israel was going to destroy her city that she put hope in the spies-and their God-risking death as a traitor. Rahab’s faith was significant to God because it led her to obey. “Only he who believes is obedient,” wrote Dietrich Bonhoeffer, “and only he who is obedient believes.”
God doesn’t care what our past looks like. He can wash away our sins and give us hearts that love him fully and obediently. He is looking for faith-like Rahab’s-that believes God can and will do the impossible.

Lord Jesus,
Give us the gift of daily faith. We believe that through your awesome power we can be free to live obediently in your care.

       This is always the last book that I read out of my devotionals. Today I am not sure why this hit me so hard. I think the sentence God doesn’t care what our past looks like was what did it. Saturday my mom and I went shopping. For lunch we were going to go to a cafĂ© that we knew a friend that works with my mom was at. With her she had her mother, when I heard this I turned to mom and asked “Does her mom know about me?” Meaning does she know that I am an addict and have been in prison. This is not the first time that I have asked my mom this question. And unfortunately probably won’t be the last time either.
       I don’t know why it is so hard for me to not worry about what others think about me, I just have a hard time with my “past”. It is very shameful and regrettable and if I were a “normal” person I would look down on people like me. To be honest I looked down on people like me when I was in my active addiction, because I wasn’t like them. Yes, now I know that I was, but at that time I didn’t, nor did I want to admit it even if I had a glimmer thought that I was. Anyways, I don’t want people to know. Which is kind of odd since I am posting it all on the internet, that is different, I guess, then face to face meetings, if that even makes sense?
    I just think that this devotion gives me hope. Rahab was a prostitute with a less then staler pass and with her faith she made it though a city getting destroyed. I need to put all my faith in God and not in what people think about me. Because in all actuality when I die I will be faced with his wrath and it will be on rather I had faith and was obedient towards him. Not what Joe Blow in Chicago thinks about me.

  All things are possible though him!


  1. What a smart woman you are becoming. Such a gift for your daughter. God is good.

  2. I went to a job interview yesterday and was so nice to just be "Alice" for a time. Not "Alice, 102 days sober" or "Alice the alkie" or "Alice in recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder". It was a group interview with about 100 people and not ONE of them knows I'm an alcoholic. It made me feel so confident that I think I did well in the interview even though I have social phobia and am very shy around strangers (we'll see whether I get the job!).

    Hold on to the lessons you learned from your past but don't see that as the sum of who you are. I'm starting to realise ... people in active addiction, it's like they're possessed. I had no conscience, I hit my mother once which makes me shudder, that is something I would NEVER do sober... We're good people, sober. You wouldn't break the law sober, and you only broke it to support your addiction.

    The further along in sobriety we get and the more we achieve as sober strong women, that becomes our truth. Not the mistakes we made as addicts.