But I have to remember that if I don’t take care of me I can’t take care of anyone else. I don’t want to go back to where I came from so I have to push forward, not look back, and take care of me!
This brings me to the Just For Today reading:
Don't Look Back
"The steps offer a big change from a life dominated by guilt and remorse. Our futures are changed because we don't have to avoid those who we have harmed. As a result... we receive a new freedom that can end isolation."
Basic Text p.31
Many of us come to Narcotics Anonymous full of regrets about our past. Our steps help us begin to resolve those regrets. We examine our lives, admit our wrongs, make amends for them, and sincerely try to change our behavior. In doing so, we find a joyous sense of freedom.
No longer must we deny or regret our past. Once we've made our amends, what's done is truly over and gone. From that point on, where we come from ceases to be the most important thing about us. It's where we are going that counts.
In NA, we begin to look forward. True, we live and stay clean just for today. But we find that we can begin to set goals, dream dreams, and look ahead to the joys a life in recovery has to offer. Looking forward keeps us centered in where we are going, not remorseful or regretful about our past. After all, it is hard to move forward if we are looking back.
Just for today: The steps have freed me from regrets over my past. Today, I look forward to my new life in recovery.
This is a good reading. And it also made me realize that I need to get back into my step work. I am supposed to be starting step 4. I have been putting it off just because I wasn’t sure if I was ready to face that stuff yet. But the only way for me to move forward and onward is to confront my past and tell it “you don’t own me anymore”, so this week I will be starting step 4. I am going to go over steps 1-3 again before I attempt to start.
I hope that everyone is doing well and that just for today everything is at peace!