Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Not too high!

Last night was S’s birthday. We went to a meeting!

Next month is my birthday. We will probably go to a meeting!

This will actually be the first birthday that I will be sober, well other then last year, but that doesn’t count I was in jail.

I am looking forward to it but at the same time it scares me. Why? Because it is different, I really thought that after this long being sober I would be more comfortable with it and don’t get me wrong there are days that I am, but there are also days that “this life” is way to weird.

I like this life much better, but let’s face it, it’s kind of boring. Boring was not good in my past life. Boring = much better in this life.

I actually have fun with Kelli. I am not to busy getting high to read her a book every night, which I do faithfully!

I am not too high to remember that she needs to brush her teeth every morning before school.

I am not too high to remember that I need to feed her and bathe her.

I am not too high to live!

I like it!

Not only is next month my birthday (I will be 27, yes I am dreading it) but it is also my sober birthday (I will have 1 year clean)

I am not looking forward to my birthday but I am so looking forward to my sober birthday!

Live, Laugh, Love! I am doing so much more of that these days!


  1. Tried to post comment but didn't work.

  2. Trying again, we've got to not look forward to, or worry about the future and things to come. There's a difference in preparing for the future and worrying or building our hopes up. As addicts, we've learned to focus on our actions and thoughts today. Many a addict have slipped when thinking about the future too much, or building up expectations only to be let down. When it comes to boredom, it's only a perception. Many addicts perceive living clean as being boring, because they focus on all of the things that they shouldn't/can't do anymore. Instead, try focusing on all of the things you are doing today, and exploring new hobbies and activities that were never really available to you while in active addiction. There are so many things we can do, and so many new friends to meet. But we have to make the DECISION, to get out and try these new things. The greatest blessing of recovery, is we now have a choice in how we live our lives, the freedom from active addiction. If you're bored, it's because you are choosing to be bored and not doing anything about it. Hope that didn't come off as too harsh.

  3. I needed this today!!! I am right now havin HORRIBLE withdrawls!!! I just want to go back on the pills to end this!

  4. If you need me, text me, call me, or email me. I am always here to help someone out. No matter what time or where!

  5. My love, you are AWESOME. Happy Happy Happy Early Sober Birthday!