Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Just a mixture!

Well first let me start by saying 6 years ago exactly I was in the hospital giving birth to my beautiful baby girl! I didn't know at that time how much my life would change in these 6 years. Her and I together have been though up's and down's but I was glad to have her ever step of the way standing by me loving me.

My boss gave me the ok to come into work late today so that I could take Kelli to school. I am so thankful to him for that. (I really love my job and the people that work with me)

So here is a picture of the birthday girl bringing goodies for her class. I was kind of upset that we could not bring in homemade stuff because of the school's policy but at least she got to bring in something (thanks to my mom)

I can't believe how big she has become :) I am such a proud mommy right now!

Ok, now onto the recovery part of this blog.

I think that I have figured out what is wrong (well at least part of the problem)

I am no longer scared! That is not good, I need to be scared. Being scared is what has kept me sober and go though what I have been though.

Why am I not scared anymore? I am not sure. Maybe I have become comfortable in my life right now and feel good. I am wondering if that is so bad?

I am not sure. I am no expert on recovery as a whole, just mine, and I am not even sure about that.

All I know is that right now I am doing ok. Today my mood is good. I have been at a level place and my outlook on my future, well to be honest just today, is good.

I am loving my higher power, my life, my family, and my friends.

What more can a girl ask for?

Nothing from my point of view.


  1. The key phrase in there was, Today is good. We as addicts, sometimes forget to enjoy the good days, because we're just waiting for something to come around and mess it up. When it comes to being scared, we should always be afraid of going back into active addiction. Knowing what it will be like. But we don't have to live our lives in fear. We can be afraid of going back to active addiction, but do not have to be scared everyday. Does this make sense? We learn to just live Today, and be grateful for the good times, not worrying when they'll end.

  2. Happy Birthday to precious Kelli! You have every reason to be a proud mom :)

    I'm not sure what I to say about the rest of what you said, but Anon. seems to have some good words!

  3. What a beautiful smile! And yes do our children change us.

    I am not sure about the rest either. I will just mention in my own mind the fact that you are very aware is a great thing.