Monday, July 25, 2011

That could have been me

            So today’s blog was going to be about how life is falling into place and that I feel like everything is great for me at this point in time. But after finding out that Amy Winehouse died my whole blog changed.
            When I heard the first thought that went though my head was “that could have been me” and then sorrow for the family. Amy Winehouse was 27 years old, I am getting ready to turn 27 in a couple of months, she is an addict, so am I, although she was in her active addiction where I am a recovering addict.
            I have been out of prison since April of this year. I got the help I needed, it was forced but I still realized that I needed that help. There were 63 other women in my wing with me, some are back in prison and most are using again. I would say that there are only about 10-15% of the woman on my wing not using ANYTHING again. Thankfully I am in that percentage.
            Amy Winehouse has been in and out of rehabs so many times and was still using, most people would say well just don’t pick up. It’s not that easy. NA says many addicts will stop using when one of three things happens. The addict is put in jail, the addict is put into an institution, or the addict dies. Unfortunately those are the only options that addicts have if we keep using. I had to be put in jail before I reached my stopping point. Amy winehouse died before she reached hers. This disease is a tough one and is unfortunately not curable. I think the saddest part of this disease is that an addict can be sober for 10 years and slip. That slip can be fatal.
 It is horrible that such a young life has ended before it began, but hopefully this will open the eyes of other addicts and the same thought will run though there head “that could have been me”

 RIP Amy Winehouse 1983-2011

Amy Winehouse-Tears dry on their own (


  1. I was shocked to read about Amy's death - but not surprised. My first thought was 'that could have been my son..."

    Congratulations on making the choice to work on your recovery vs. taking the easy road back to using and abusing.

    Can I ask what your drug of choice was?

  2. My drug of choice was Meth. It is not an easy road to take and it was forced on me but I am glad that it did. I had so much to lose! Thank you for your support!

  3. Thanks for sharing. Boy, meth is a hard one to overcome....but you did it. You have a sweetheart little girl that needs a healthy mommy :)