Ugggggg part 2!!!!!!

Ok, so I am cranky and sleepy and sore today.

I just need to go to bed and wake up in the morning (on the right side) and pray that I will come to peace with what he is doing to his friends and family. If anyone can understand this is should be me right?!?!?

Then why is it so hard?

Yep, just need a nice snugly bed and a nice snuggle. I think I will be good as new in the morning.

This is the last day of August, I hope that you all have had a good month and I hope that September brings greater things for you all.

Much love!

Ugggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, So I am extremely upset. I know I shouldn’t be, I know that this is not my life. But it still erks me.

The other day I posted that I took a friend to rehab. This was on a Sunday. Well this morning I was on my way to work and I see said friend driving done the road, I called his wife and she told me that he WALKED out after ONE day! What the hell?!?!?

Ok, so have of me, my addict side is saying well yeah that makes sense. He didn’t want to do it for him; it was for the court, his family, etc.

The other half of me, my “normal” half is screaming you stupid a** m*****f***** what the hell are you thinking?

I told his wife when I was on the phone with her that I love her and that I hope everything works out, but while he is in his addiction and hanging around the people he is I can not come to their house and hang out with them, if his wife wants to meet me somewhere that would be fine. But I can not put myself in that situation.

I feel very bad for his wife, but at the same time, well I don’t know what I feel I have many emotions going though my mind right now it’s not even funny.

This is not my sobriety or my life, why am I so upset?

Random

So I was playing on the internet and came across a website: Handbook of wisdom for those in transtion

It just has a alot of quotes from different people and there were some that I liked so I thought I would put the in a post and share them.


No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

Draw from others the lesson that may profit yourself.

We cannot live other people's lives or bear their burdens, no matter how much we love them.

Dependency is slavery by mutual agreement, It is degrading for both the person who is dependent and the person who is being depended upon. Both parties are equally lacking in self-reliance for such a relationship flourishes on mutual exploitation.

Once a person believes that something is true, whether or not it is, he then acts as if it were. He will instinctively seek to collect facts to support the belief no matter how false it may be.

Real knowledge is to know the extent of ones ignorance.

Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.

I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.

I want to know God's thoughts ... the rest are details.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted

A "No" uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.

My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents, and I lay them both at his feet.

When you have to make a choice and don't make it, that in itself is a choice.

Human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes

The harder you work, the harder it is for you to surrender.

Nothing on earth consumes a man more quickly than the passion of resentment.

You are greater than anything that can happen to you.

Don't let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.

What I can do is what I can do, and what I can do is enough.

A bad habit never goes away by itself. It's always an undo-it-yourself project.

It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.

Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are.

Never let what you cannot do interfer with what you can do.

In your hands you hold the seeds of failure - or the potential for greatness.

The most practical, beautiful, workable philosophy in the world won't work - if you won't.

Before I forget!

My friend recieved a call yesterday from pathways saying that they had a bed open. He took it. I am proud and hope that he completes it and learns alot. His family needs him so much. And I know that his wife misses the man she married.

My heart and prays go out to him and I wish him the best!

Me again!

This weekend was greatly needed. I feel back to my old new self (<-wow that doesn’t make much sense) It was a refreshing and relaxing weekend. I really did not do much, just clean, mowed, read, and slept. But I think that I needed it. That is something that I really need to do more of. I need to take “me” time. It gets hard, I have lots of things to do and that need to be done. Also as a single mom it does not make it easy.

But I have to remember that if I don’t take care of me I can’t take care of anyone else. I don’t want to go back to where I came from so I have to push forward, not look back, and take care of me!

This brings me to the Just For Today reading:

August 29

Don't Look Back

"The steps offer a big change from a life dominated by guilt and remorse. Our futures are changed because we don't have to avoid those who we have harmed. As a result... we receive a new freedom that can end isolation."

Basic Text p.31

Many of us come to Narcotics Anonymous full of regrets about our past. Our steps help us begin to resolve those regrets. We examine our lives, admit our wrongs, make amends for them, and sincerely try to change our behavior. In doing so, we find a joyous sense of freedom.

No longer must we deny or regret our past. Once we've made our amends, what's done is truly over and gone. From that point on, where we come from ceases to be the most important thing about us. It's where we are going that counts.

In NA, we begin to look forward. True, we live and stay clean just for today. But we find that we can begin to set goals, dream dreams, and look ahead to the joys a life in recovery has to offer. Looking forward keeps us centered in where we are going, not remorseful or regretful about our past. After all, it is hard to move forward if we are looking back.

Just for today: The steps have freed me from regrets over my past. Today, I look forward to my new life in recovery.

pg. 251

This is a good reading. And it also made me realize that I need to get back into my step work. I am supposed to be starting step 4. I have been putting it off just because I wasn’t sure if I was ready to face that stuff yet. But the only way for me to move forward and onward is to confront my past and tell it “you don’t own me anymore”, so this week I will be starting step 4. I am going to go over steps 1-3 again before I attempt to start.

I hope that everyone is doing well and that just for today everything is at peace!

Time for myself

So today I am just taking time for myself. Doing little odds and ends around the house and reading. The book I am reading is Be anxious for nothin by Joyce Meyers. While I was reading I came across a line in her book that I thought I would share.

Whatever may have happened to us in the past, it does not have to dictate our future.

I love that line! I love Joyce Meyers!

I hope that everyone is having a great weekend

Much love from me to you!

For parents

Devotions for mom

August 27-Time

If you need wisdom-if you want to know what God wants you to do-ask him, and he will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking. James 1:5

I recently saw a cartoon in a women's magazine showing a little boy sitting at a kitchen table. His mother was serving him a meal, and the little boy was saying, "mom, where did you work before you worked for dad and me?"

I both smile and cringe at that little boy's question. I smile because, like the mom in the cartoon, I spend a lot of time serving my family, and most of the time I enjoy it. I cringe because I dislike the times when I feel like a slave to everyone else's needs and wants, having little time left over for the things I like to do. After being a mom for twenty some years, I have to admit that finding a balance is a constant challenge. I've had times when I felt overly responsible for my family and didn't take enought time to be healthy myself. At other times I was so involved in "good" things that in my busyness I neglected some of my family's needs.

For some years I have been praying daily for wisdom to know how to use my time, and it has helped immensely! I don't claim to have found the perfect balance, but when I talk to God about my schedule each morning, I'm much more conscious of making wise choices since I've already thought and prayed about it. And when things don't go well, I reevaluate and ask God for more wisdom.

Father,
Thank you that we can come to you for wisdom. Please give us help in balancing the many responsibilies of motherhood.
Amen.