Thursday, January 31, 2013

Procrastination and powerlessness

Well here it is Thursday night. I am so totally not doing what I am supposed to be doing?

What am I supposed to be doing you ask? I am supposed to be working on my 4th step, trying to get it finished after working on it since September. Yea, so not doing that!

What am I doing instead? Well I started typing up my first step so that I can have it on my computer. This turns out to be ok, because I have thought about powerlessness again. This is something that I don’t think about on a daily basis and I should.

Which now I have to blog about J

I am powerless over my whole life. The only thing I am not powerless over is myself, my actions, my thoughts, my words, and my reactions to other people. I can only control what I say or do, I cannot control  what others' do or how they perceive my words, sometimes people read into things I say that are not there. As much as I am a people pleaser and want to explain until I am blue in the face and apologize, sometimes no matter what I say they are not going to change their mind. That is just something I have to accept. I can only do so much. I am not perfect neither is anyone else. Something else I need to accept. Those are hard things to accept. I just need to keep working on me and hope that at some point these things become easier to accept.

Now hopefully I can quit procrastinating and get to my step 4…well it’s the thought that counts right?

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