By going back we never have to return

By: Josh

Remembering where I came from helps me never have to go back.

Last night I had an opportunity to take an NA meeting into a jail and share my experiences and recovery with inmates.  It was a very humbling experience for me in many ways. 

First off, it was the first time in my recovery that I have walked into a jail as a free man and got to leave the same way without having to post bail or get assigned a court date. :)  Was actually quite nice.

Second, I have been to numerous meetings while in jail, but always as an inmate.  This was a very simple change in my life of recovery that helped me put into focus just how different my life is today.

Lastly, getting to hear inmates open up and share their own life experiences and struggles with drugs and addiction was absolutely incredible.  I didn't even have to try to relate to many of them because I've said some of the very things I heard them sharing and felt much of the fears, doubt and shame that were all once so familiar to me.  And by hearing them share and sharing my own story, I was reminded of all of those feelings and exactly where I never wish to go again.  The miracle is that I never have to. 

For me, the Narcotics Anonymous program and the 12 steps have given me a new life.  With other addicts in recovery helping show me a different way to live, and sharing their own experiences; I've been given hope.  I was shown(and continue being shown) how to surrender to my disease of addiction and a way of living by putting my faith into a loving, caring Higher Power of my own choosing.  Was it easy, hell no.  Has it been worth it? Not a doubt in my mind.

I've put alot of work and time into my own recovery and try to stay humble and know that I have to continue working at my recovery today and learning more ways to change my life and grow in recovery.  Yet, for me, one way that has worked for me to always remember where I came from is working with newcomers or those who think they may have a problem.  By hearing their experiences, questions and struggles it always reminds me of where I used to be.  And by this, I can see where I'm at today which further motivates me to continue in my recovery. 

My past is my past and I choose not to live in it today.  But I've learned the strength and wisdom that comes from remembering where I was, seeing how far I've come, and that I never have to return to the person my addiction made me.

Grateful today for such amazing opportunities to share with newcomers and other recovering addicts.  Blessed that my Higher Power helps me to remain humble and for all those in my life who have helped me get to where I am today.

Today, I'm still powerless over my addiction, yet I've been given a Power greater than myself and my addiction to show me how to live and stay clean just for today.

Is it worth it?

Hi everyone. I realized how much I missed blogging when I was doing the November thankful post, well I realized it before then but that’s when it intensified.  

On black Friday I finally bought a laptop. Which means that I don’t have to wait to get to work to write a post, so I have added blogging into my schedule, so hopefully I will have a post once a week. I’m not promising anything but I will do my best…now if only we can talk Josh into writing a post or two we might have more!

This weekend was a tough one but I really just need to let it go and know that my higher power will work everything out. But other than that everything is pretty good in my life. Work is going good, Kelli is doing great…her Christmas program at school is tomorrow night so I am really looking forward to that.

So I was reading an article today online-“Is drug rehab worth the cost?”

*I know not everyone will agree with me, but please remember that everything that I write is my opinion*

After reading it a couple of times, I have to say that I agree with the author of this article. I do believe that drug rehab is worth the cost IF the person going to rehab actually wants to change and they are not doing it to “get people off their backs.”

I would like to mention that I have never been to a traditional rehab, the only treatment that I have received was treatment in prison, and do I feel it helped me? Very much so, but only after I opened my mind, heart, and ears. But with that being said, if I just went to prison treatment would I still be sober today? Probably not. That was not enough for me. I needed my outpatient treatment and then NA.  

But that is me, what worked for me might not work for Joe Blow. I feel that each individual PERSON is different. Now the addiction (rather it is to drugs, pills, alcohol, sex, gambling, etc.) is all the same. Addiction needs to be treated on a daily basis, as addicts we will never be cured, but there is always hope! As the NA basic text says “We suffered from a disease from which there is no known cure. It can, however, be arrested at some point and recovery is then possible.”

What do you guys think?