Staying clean and serene no matter what!

The only thing consistent in life is change. Everything in life may be going great and the plan that you have is right on schedule, but then life throws you a curveball and everything changes. The plans that you once have seem impossible and you have no idea what you are going to do now. 

So what do you do? Ok, so right here I do not have the answers, I wish I did, but life has thrown me a curveball. This right now is the worst possible time to happen. But the one thing that I do know is that I have a choice. I can keep fighting, facing this time and rising above it and figuring out (with the help of my higher power) what to do next or I can go back to my old way of life. This does at times seem easier, to just run and hide and hope like heck that everything comes together how it’s supposed to.

But let’s face the facts; this is not how life works. Life is not easy it does not work out on its own. It takes work on our part.

I have a great support system that, with them, I know I can get through it. I will pray. I will figure out where to go from here. And most importantly I will not give up hope.

I hope that everyone is doing great and life is going good. But if it’s not right now remember it’s not the end of the world. This too shall pass!

Guarding our recovery

April 4

Guarding our recovery

 

“Remember that we... are ultimately responsible for our recovery and our decisions.” Basic Text, p. 103 ––––=–––– Most of us will face choices that challenge our recovery. If we find ourselves in extreme physical pain, for example, we will have to decide whether or not we will take medication. We will have to be very honest with ourselves about the severity of our pain, honest with our doctor about our addiction and our recovery, and honest with our sponsor. In the end, however, the decision is ours, for we are the ones who must live with the consequences. Another common challenge is the choice of attending a party where alcohol will be served. Again, we should consider our own spiritual state. If someone who supports our recovery can attend the event with us, so much the better. However, if we don’t feel up to such a challenge, we should probably decline the invitation. Today, we know that preserving our recovery is more important than saving face. All such decisions are tough ones, requiring not only our careful consideration but the guidance of our sponsor and complete surrender to a Higher Power. Using all of these resources, we make the best decision we can. Ultimately, however, the decision is ours. Today, we are responsible for our own recovery. ––––=–––– Just for today: When faced with a decision that may challenge my recovery, I will consult all the resources at my disposal before I make my choice.

http://www.jftna.org/jft

Recovery doesn't happen all at once; it is an ongoing process, sometimes a struggle.

Sharing in meetings is sometimes a difficult thing for some to do. Should I sugar coat it to make it sound like life is happy, happy, happy, and everything is good? Here the past couple of weeks some of my friends in NA have been talking about the sharing in meetings. So when I read the Just For Today this morning, it put a lot of things into perspective.

“Sometimes the most positive message we can carry is that we are going through difficult times in our recovery and are staying clean in spite of them!”

You know that is true! When I am sitting in the meeting and I hear someone sharing about something they are going through, that I have been through in the past and could not imagine going through now that I am clean and staying clean, it gives me inspiration. Their message is hope. Hope that I too could stay clean through that situation. “If we are equipped with the tools of the program, we can walk through such turmoil and stay clean to tell the tale.”

NA’s message is hope. At least that’s what I get from NA. Hope that I can live a life worth living clean!

 

Just for today: I will honestly share both the good times and the difficult times of my recovery. I will remember that my experience in walking through adversity may benefit another member.

 

For the daily Just For Today: http://jftna.org/jft/

Coping with death

Death is something that is really hard for me to deal with, in all reality I usually just don’t deal with it at all.

There are many deaths in my life that I still have not dealt with and that I covered up with drugs. I no longer have that option. So now that I am clean how do I deal with them? How do I cope when someone so close to me passes away?

How do I come to terms with the possibility of losing someone that growing up and even now I never thought would “leave”?  How do I get over the guilt of not being around this person because of my own stupid issues?

How do I deal with the deaths in my past? The sick part is I have resentments against the people who have died. I think that is easier for me…to be mad at them instead of just dealing with it.

How do you just let someone go?

Life on life's terms.

Once you get clean off all drugs, how are you going to live your life?

Just because you sober up and decided to leave the drugs and alcohol alone does not mean that your life is going to get any better. Honestly it could just stay the same.

It’s really in how you want your life to be, it is up to you.

You can decided that your life is as miserable without drugs as it was with drugs and give up and keep living that way

OR

You could decide that your life WAS miserable with drugs and you refuse to let it be anything but happy without drugs.

Life is all in how you look at it. Living life on life’s terms is something every addict must learn. I am still learning this and sometimes even have a difficult time remembering all that I have learnt.

Life happens, that will not change. What will change are your attitude, your willingness, and your openness to face each situation.

Is it easy? By no means what so ever! But it is worth it.

My life has been way better than I ever imagined it could be. The friends and family relationships that I have now are more than I have ever had.

Just for today I am not trading that in for more drugs!

Time for my second big (life changing) announcement (in red)

If we limited ourselves to the expectations we had when we first got clean, we would have missed out on so much.

I know that I would have for sure. I expected to get clean and that was it. I figured my life would be the same as it was before; just without the drugs.

Man, am I glad that I let willingness and open-mindedness into my life. With those two words, my life has been better than I ever could have hoped for.

I have a wonderful baby girl that is my life; we have our trying times, but they are worth it.

I have family that supports me in everything and are here for me with whatever I need.

I have friends in and out of the NA program that encourage me in the good as well as the bad times.

I have an amazing and healthy relationship with Josh; we have good times and not so good times, but we always talk and work through them together.  We communicate and are there for each other no matter how we are feeling at the moment.

I am expecting my second child; although it was a shock, is a great blessing.  One that I didn’t really think would happen. And I honestly could not ask for a better father for this baby or better big sisters.

There is so much more that I am grateful for. So much more that fills my life with love, light, and happiness.

Sobriety is always great in and of itself…but it’s so much better when you figure out how to live your sober life happy.

It is not easy, and nobody said it would be; but it is so worth it. I would not trade my sober life for anything in the world…not even the “bad” times.

Sad...

I am sadden today by all the status I see on facebook saying “Today Whitney Houston is one year clean and sober, congrats” To many of you guys this might seem funny, but to people who struggle daily with addiction this is no way funny. Addiction is a serious disease that takes the lives of many every day. Death is a very real possibility for addicts and when it happens it is sad, regardless of what you might think of the person. Thankfully I was one of the lucky ones that got out alive.